- ElleGirl
Kiss & Tell: What Ever Happened to Chivalry?
Photo: Getty Images
I went on a date two weeks ago and recently have been hanging out with the guy in groups. First it was me inviting him out with my friends, then he invites me out with his friends and so forth—thing is, on both nights where a group of us were leaving the venue near my house, he didn’t bother to offer walking me home. He gave me a hug and that was it.
That got me thinking…almost everything went well on our date. We had good conversation, great eye contact, and even a few good laughs, but at the end of the night we split the bill. He didn’t walk me home. He hasn’t asked me out again, and I’m pretty sure he’s still interested. Now I may be old fashioned when it comes to dating but what happened to chivalry? I understand that women have developed hard-earned equality and independence, anywhere from relationships to the workplace, in addition to paying for themselves, opening their own doors, etc. We are definitely stronger, more passionate, and more independent these days, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t like being spoiled. Does it?
The question is, who pays for dinner? It’s a simple question but difficult to answer with the ever changing definition of independence. Is the guy obligated or even required to pick up the bill if he “asked you out?” Should girls be expected to pay her fair share to represent gender equality? How about guys opening doors and walking girls home? What about pulling my chair out from the table? What does chivalry even mean anymore? To me, it demonstrates respect and honor. These actions are made without expectations of any sort of “return favor.” My last boyfriend was big believer in gender equality so I can’t even remember the last time someone came to my door to pick me up for a date.
So I ask myself: should I learn to adapt and accept the new ways of courtship or shall I say, lack of courtship? Should I settle for anything less than feeling like a princess? Is this going to be a supply and demand thing? Is asking for chivalry asking for too much? I’ve decided that I like chivalry and will accept nothing less. Chivalry makes almost every girl giggle. We feel needed, pampered, loved. There has to be guys left out in the world that still believe in chivalry. That although I am a self-sufficient, fully capable girl, full of wisdom and passion, the guy still has the urge of opening my door, ring my doorbell or bring me flowers! Will you be making yourself the same promise? Does it make the date that much better? What does it mean to you? Is chivalry dead?
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